Uncoupled

I describe divorce as an out of body experience, where the team you've played on for decades is now in "man down" mode. When I first filled out forms asking my marital status, it felt strange checking the box next to SINGLE, like a kite flying aimlessly with no one holding the string. I'd marked MARRIED for most of my adult life and never thought I'd be anything but that for the rest of my days.  One part of me knew I was single, but another part felt as if... Read More

Man of Letters

Beware the pen pal. He reached out across the vast Tinder wasteland and said he liked my profile and could I meet him for breakfast? This was some years ago and he, in Palm Springs on vacation, had posted photos of himself looking as pure and smooth as a well-aged Canadian whiskey, a guy who could’ve had an Olympic pedigree with his tall, lanky physique, chiseled jaw and mop of silver hair that begged to be touched. I couldn’t make a date work with my full schedule, but he parted... Read More

My Truth

Dating at any age, but for sure at my age, requires learning to read cues and step around land mines. I remember the smooth talker who worked in the cannabis industry ("I don't partake," he told me. "Sure," I thought). He agreed to meet for our first date at that mountaintop resort I like with the valet parking, but the night we were there, the wind decided to join the party. What started as a warm, sunny afternoon dropped the temps about 20 degrees as the sun began to set.... Read More

Uncharted

I took a trip early in my singlehood to a place that will forever be on my list of beautiful vacation destinations: Sun Valley, an Idaho resort town where I’d never been before. But the difference about this getaway from the others I’d taken since my divorce? It was my first foray outside my comfort zone with a man–a straight, single man whom I met through mutual friends. We had emailed and talked on the phone for months, so I knew he was who he said he was, and that... Read More

Chemistry 101

I don’t expect every date to feel like the chemistry experiments my lab partner and I muddled through in high school, the ones where the desired outcome was an exciting, and sometimes explosive, reaction. That word desire, however, continues to confound me just like Chemistry class did. In a romance, it’s certainly more fun when there's a mutual desire that clicks. But finding it and keeping it feel a bit like digging through the earth's crust to China. I’d been in the dating pool for two years when I met... Read More